Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Just a Note...
I'm home alone now, and it's surprisingly fine. Of course I miss Melissa and everyone else, but I putter along through my days as usual, keeping the same routines, staying in touch with the same people, running the same errands, doing the same work. I will have a bit more time for some projects (and reading and letter writing and other things). And I have in mind some new things to do. I'm eager to get started.
Interestingly, I'm at a time in my life when I'm more uninvolved than ever. A while back, I reluctantly ended the groups that had met, for years, in my home for spiritual and homeschooling support and discussion. More recently, I pulled out of every commitment and involvement I had. I started doing this because of changes that I knew were coming in my life. I'm sort of in a waiting mode now. It's actually been good to have this space in my life. It's been something of a healthy retreat. (Step back from something-- "fast" from it-- for a while, and you begin to get clearer-headed about that thing and to develop some observations and insights.) Mike will eventually be home (soon), and we can make some decisions then for the future. I needed a clean slate to make that work better.
Of course, people have always been, and always will be part of my life. I have no desire to center my life around myself, to live for myself, to live superficially. I deeply understand Bonhoeffer's (and Nouwen's) writings about community and solitude, that both are necessary, and that one cannot be lived healthfully without the other. I'm praying about how best to pursue this now.
And service to others matters. But there are many ways to go about this at home (to care, to provide for needs, to bless, to help, to encourage), and I have some several things in mind for doing this. I may even invite some friends to join me if they want.
Well, I certainly don't need to hash this out here or to comment on every single thing I'm doing, but I'm excited about what is coming. I know that, no matter what, no matter what, His plans for me, for us, are good.
I have a long list of questions that has piled up in the blog comments. Some of these are easy to answer, and I'll do that this week. Others have been a challenge for me to answer or write, but I'm actually making progress on those, and I hope to gradually post answers to those, too.
The way I've always posted, and the fastest, easiest way for me to post is to write whatever is on my mind at the moment, when I don't plan ahead, when a post arises out of whatever I've just read or noticed or done. It comes out quickly and easily then. Pretty much everything I post is spontaneous like that. And then when someone asks me questions to clarify or extend what I'm saying, I get bogged down. I struggle. It takes time, and I don't have all that much time for blogging or the computer. I do want to answer these questions, though, and I will. Forgive me for being sooo slow with my answers. I haven't forgotten about them.
I've been reading through my computer files and through piles of papers where I've written down my thoughts on various things about home and learning and living. I definitely want to post some of those here (I have one to post today). I also have many unfinished blog posts that I'll quickly pull together and post. I'll just mix all of this in with my regular, spontaneously written, jottings about what arises in my days.
Okay. Forward ho! :-)